And the fruit of this looking deeply is called understanding. We must be there, attentive we must observe, we must look deeply.

What must we do in order to understand a person? We must have time we must practice looking deeply into this person. Without understanding, love is an impossible thing. If a husband, for example, does not understand his wife’s deepest troubles, her deepest aspirations, if he does not understand her suffering, he will not be able to love her in the right way. If you cannot understand, you cannot love. Because if you do not understand this person, you cannot love properly. Training is needed in order to love properly and to be able to give happiness and joy, you must practice deep looking directed toward the person you love. Loving-kindness is not only the desire to make someone happy, to bring joy to a beloved person it is the ability to bring joy and happiness to the person you love, because even if your intention is to love this person, your love might make him or her suffer. The first is maitri, which can be translated as loving-kindness or benevolence.

Looking at human love through the lens of Buddhist teaching, he breaks it down into four aspects: loving-kindness, compassion, joy and freedom and uses his direct and simple style to advise us how to put these elements to work in our own lives.Īccording to Buddhism, there are four elements of true love. Courtesy of Harvard Art Museums/Arthur M.What are the most basic elements of love and how can we manifest them in our lives and our relationships? This is the question that Thich Nhat Hanh tackles in his short book, ‘True Love’. This quintessential guide to loving also introduces the four key aspects of love described in the Buddhist tradition - loving-kindness, compassion, joy, and freedom - and describes many simple and direct ways in which we can practice authentic love in our everyday lives.Ĭover art: White Lotus (Nelumbo Odorata), c. As he explains, 'training is needed in order to love properly and to be able to give happiness and joy, you must practice deep looking directed toward the person you love. Thich Nhat Hanh here shows the way to overcome our recurrent obstacles to love - by learning to be mindful, open, and present with ourselves and others. We all seek the happiness that comes from loving and being loved, yet we often find ourselves dissatisfied in our relationships and unable to grasp the cause.

True love book thich nhat hanh